Celebrate.

Hristiyan’s 40th Birthday
Equinox Retreat

My 40th birthday is fast approaching and I have been talking about doing something big for the last 3 years.  I’ve been waiting for a download for some time about what that would be and I finally got one two months ago.  

Before I tell you what it is let me share some history with you that is relevant to this event.

When I was 25 years old, I signed up to take a PickUp workshop.  I will not go into the many reasons that drew me to it at the time, but looking back, I have no doubt I was guided by larger, wiser, and higher forces that are in the realm of the unseen.  And little did I know at that time, my life would forever change.  Six months later, I was traveling the country teaching the very course I took.  That is not the interesting part though.  The interesting part is what happened to me.

The first time I spoke in front of a group of people the “I” that I knew as “I” was no longer there.  The “I” that was there was just a vessel that information came through.  On an egoic level this was really cool since a lot of deep and useful information was coming through that was clearly having impact to those that were receiving it, so I quickly became popular and cool.  On a personal internal level, it was the most liberating thing I have ever experienced.  Our biggest bond is our identity, in the form of thoughts, emotions and body.  When I was in front of a group of people all my problems disappeared, all my worries and fears disappeared, my very thoughts disappeared, even my bodily needs would disappear.  I can teach a workshop for a whole day and not even think about food, drink or even going to the bathroom.  So obviously I would seek it like a drug addict, all I wanted was to be in front of the room and facilitate transformation for people.  Nothing I have ever done has come as close to the satisfaction, the joy, the pure ecstasy of doing that.  Problem was that I did not have that same access when I was not at the workshop.  The rest of my life was a complete mess.  I was broke and had nothing stable in my life.  I had become the “starving artist”, who knows god in their art yet does not know how to “tie their own shoes”.  I had many people seeing and believing in my art and try to help and support me with everything they could, with time, energy and resources.  I am forever grateful for those people and many of them/you are on the receiving end of this invite.  Long story short, I realized that for my art to have the impact that it was meant to have that would not happen until I myself and my earthly self is in a stable and grounded place.  (as a side note I am not sure that was needed.  I think it could have been done it just required a level of devotion and trust for life that I did not have at the time).  So as usual I waited for a download to give me guidance since I do not trust my silly little logical brain to come up with something useful and sure enough when I turned 30 within the first few months of that it became clear what I needed to do.

Saying it was a hard thing to do would be putting it lightly.  I was guided to put all this traveling and being recognized as some kind of teacher; I was even called a “love guru” aside and I needed to concentrate on some more basic stuff like paying bills.  As you can imagine that is a hard pill to swallow yet alongside of that guidance, I was told that if I do that, I will be able to get back to it in my 40s in a much more grounded way.

In other words, I spent my 30s swinging the hammer literally and creating a stable life.

I put a lot of energy towards healing and growth.  I spent time rewriting my story around money, success, relationships and intimacy. I spent my time learning and creating stable finances and businesses.  I feel so much more grounded, balanced, and secure in myself and in life itself, knowing that I will be taken care of no matter what and resting in the knowing deeper aspects of life in a much more grounded way.  I have solid spiritual, mental and physical practices.  I found my community, my people and I have been blessed to meet a lot of amazing people along the way.  I was also fortunate enough to find an amazing woman to co create with and celebrate the beauty of life.  So yes my 30s have been quite eventful and transformational.  Now I am about to step into my 40s and I want to do with intention, community and transformation.

As I approach the next decade, I feel this energy or wanting to write and speak up moving through my whole body and being.  Even though I do not know what the message is yet I am just allowing for the words to move through my body as a conductor between the divine and my lips and fingers.  All I need to do once again is to remove the “I” that can get in the way of that.

So now for the context regarding the vision I have for my 40th birthday gathering.

It only seems appropriate that spirit is guiding me to enter my 40s with a huge transformational gathering with amazing powerful people a.k.a. you.

I want to create a big 9-day long retreat.  I want to create it and I want to facilitate and I also want all you to be an active participant in the process, active co-creator, and co-facilitator.

Before I go deeper into the details, I want to give you the container I feel called to create right off the top since that alone is big commitment.

The biggest one being the time, 9 days is a long time, many people cannot make such a commitment.  Second, it will most likely be in Mexico so it will require international travel for most.  There will be a financial obligation not only for travel but for being there.  I am not at all planning to make money on this and if there is any money left over we will donate it all.  There will be a minimum expense to cover lodging and food which I would assume as of right now it will not be that much, but it is still a lot bigger commitment than showing up to a party in a warehouse in Oakland.

If you are still with me and you still think you might be a yes, wait there is more.  What I am called towards more than anything is towards rejuvenation and restoration of the planet (that of course is very multidimensional and complex) and as such I would like for us to live together as one community for 9 days in such ways.  Also, we would eat organic, vegan food, and lastly and most importantly, you would be asked to stay sober for those 9 days.  Meaning no external things impact your consciousness and nervous system.  That means no alcohol, no drugs, including “medicine” like weed, mushrooms, tobacco, and even coffee.  It is important for me to have such a tight container.

If you still feel drawn to know more, here are the many reasons why you should be there…

You should be there not only because you love me and you want to celebrate the beauty and magic of life, but also because it will be a very transformative experience.  How do I know it will be transformative because you will make it transformative!

The vision is that I want everyone that comes to present and share their wisdom.  The vision and the theme for the retreat is “human sovereignty in a thriving planet.”  I want us to explore those subjects.  I want us to have yoga, breathwork and meditation, I want us to talk about rejuvenating our soil and water, I want to talk about health, spirituality, sex and even financial wellbeing.

A lot of you already teach or facilitate or write but I invite you to step outside of your comfort zone and speak about something that you are passionate about, but not something that you already teach.  For example, your work might be around relationships and/or sex so maybe talk about health or finances.  Depending on how many can make it and how long each session is we can have two opportunities to present, which would mean that one can be in your area of expertise and one should definitely not be so we can all learn, stretch, and grow.

I will be the MC and I will do the same, I will facilitate the same as everyone else one or two sessions on different topics.

Lastly, and probably most importantly, we will spend our evenings with ceremonies, performances, celebrations, and gratitude.

To summarize…

If you decide to come, you are expected to lead some kind of experience whether it is talk, breath work, yoga, meditation, ceremony, or performance. 

The event is planned to be during Fall Equinox so our time together will be at the end of September 2021 we will start September 18 through September 26.  On the actual equinox, we will take time off from teaching each other stuff and will spent our time in ceremony and will take a trip somewhere (more on that later.)

Lastly, the event will be limited to 40 people and it will be on the first come basis.

Many things will unravel and change between now and then.  I suspect 2021 will be even harder and tougher then 2020 has been which for me personally makes this gathering that much more important.

We are currently living in the sixth mass-extinction on this planet and some are saying we have already crossed the threshold of no return some are saying we have another few years.  What that means is once we cross that there is nothing that can be done and more then 90% of life on this planet will go extinct and of course humans will be part of that.  The beautiful thing about that is that the planet has gone through this process 5 times already and each time has come back with more rich and biodiverse life then the times before also more self-aware and intelligent live.  In the grand scheme of things everything is perfect as it is and on one hand we are going through the beautiful evolution of the planet which involves destruction.

Yet, you see we, as humans, are the only creatures on this planet that can actively and consciously do something about reversing this process.  We have the power to turn deserts into rich biodiverse lands, we have the power to revive dried up rivers, we have the power to restore what we have destroyed.  What is the most magnificent about all this is, there are many people around the world already doing this and they are finding out that it takes between 5 to 7 years to restore a totally dead piece of land to be lush green thriving with live on every level, where it has taken hundreds of years to destroy it. 

My wife and I have a strong calling to do something and to help turn this ship around. To at least attempt to save humanity and life on our planet and I am calling you and inviting you to join us in conversation around all this and to share your gifts and knowledge around this subject. Every little bit matters and makes a difference.

And even if we all do not succeed and even if we have truly already crossed the threshold of no return, everything in me is screaming to try even if it is hopeless.  

I hope you would honor me and everyone else there with your big beautiful heart, presence, attention, intention and wisdom.

We are working on securing location and the plan for now is to go to Tulum.  We are also open to suggestion if you have an amazing location that can provide food and lodging for 40 people for 9 days.

Much love from my heart to yours.

If you are interested in joining, please let us know by completing this form…